From the beginning

I cannot believe this is the third time I am actually sitting at my computer in 2 and a half weeks. I have a small window of time so I better type fast!

I am so far behind in all forms of correspondence so if you haven't heard back from me, just know I have been very busy getting my booty kicked by three kids and I hope to make out of here alive very soon.

And because I am realizing that we never really announced it: Our baby's name is Maxwell Joseph. He was 6 lbs. 15 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long.

And his birthday was definitely not how I envisioned it.

I went in to be induced on Thursday morning after "sleeping" the previous night sitting up on the couch with my hands on my belly, hoping to force/will that child to stay head down.

We showed up to the hospital at 8 am. The doctor broke my water and started the pitocin. I expected things to move faster but it felt like we were off to a slow start, though looking back things didn't take too long. As I chatted with the nurses I mentioned that I did have a back condition called Spina Bifida Occulta and that it should be mentioned to the anesthesiologist but that it had never been a problem in the past. In fact, I had never even known I had it until a few years ago it made itself present on an x-ray for something else.

So the real excitement of the day was when the anesthesiologist herself came in to tell me that neither she nor any of her colleagues in the hospital would give me an epidural.

I had a few moments of panic as I realized what exactly this meant. And in an uncharacteristic fashion, I decided that I could either freak out and scream and cry or I could buck up and do this thing!

Our good friends Jill and Lee were at home with Ava and Luke. From their reports, Ava got off to school fine and Luke was doing great. All of this news eased my mind so much. We asked Lee to come help Dan give me a blessing.

And as I look back on that day I cannot help but feel that Heavenly Father's hands were on the whole thing. Everything went so well when they could have been so wrong!

The next thing I did was call another friend, Melissa, a hypnobirthing guru, to come help me. And just like everything else, she was magically available and willing to come to the hospital.

She helped me breathe and relax my way through the entire labor and she quietly slipped out the door shortly after Max was born.

She was truly heaven sent because I know I could not have done it without her! Dan was a champ and never left my side. He was always calm and helped me to stay the same. He tickled my arms during each contraction, while Melissa read aloud from her scripts.

I tried really hard to embrace each contraction, not shy away or tense up.

Looking back I think that natural labor is doable (obviously!) and that it was really only the last ten minutes that had me questioning my sanity and ability. And with practice, even that could be tolerable. Not that I want to do it that way again, though in the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder if it was no accident that I didn't receive an epidural that day.

Right at the end, Dan said I was making "animal noises" and that was right before I was screaming for drugs. But I made it! Max was born at 2:44 pm. And oh the relief! The relief! The relief was the most wonderful part!

I was shocked to see his little tufts of blond hair. I never would have imagined I could have made a blond baby.

My parents made it into town late that night. And for all the logistics of that week, I really felt that was amazing.

I have so much more to write for memory and therapy's sake but since this post alone has taken 2 days, I will pace myself. Sleep time is more precious than gold these days.