Well, Max has taken pretty well to the loss of his beloved bottle, but now I know that his indifference was merely a place saver, while he was really very busy mentally planning his rebellion.
A month or so ago he fell/climbed out of his crib. It scared him, I put him back in, and he went right to sleep. And I breathed a huge sigh of relief that he didn't fight it and we wouldn't be having that battle.
Ava nor Luke ever made any attempt to get out of their crib. Up until last year, Ava didn't even get out of her own bed in the morning by herself. She'd call when she woke up just to ask and be sure, "Is it time to wake up yet?" She has never once gotten out of her bed after we've put her there. And I know that is not typical, but it has been very nice.
Luke was more normal, but still goes to bed very well. He doesn't come out of his room at night, though he does come out when he wakes in the morning, crazy kid.
When we first made the switch, I always warned both of them, they could sleep in the big bed, but if they got up and out and played, etc, then they'd have to go back in the crib. And we had very smooth transitions.
So yesterday, I put Max down for his nap. Not 15 seconds after I shut his door, I heard it open and I look to find him standing in the doorway with a sheepish grin. In shock, I walked over, picked him up, laid him back down, and he went to sleep.
Again, I wiped my brow and said a silent thank you that he was not going to keep doing it.
A few hours later, as I sat at the dining room table, helping my mom with some paper work, I look up and see him standing on the stairs. Same sheepish grin.
I lost count at 30 times I put him back in his crib last night. Approximately 5 seconds after I shut the door, it would creak open. Two eyes and a grin.
Pick him up, pay no attention, lay him down, walk out, shut the door. Count to 5. Creeeeaak. Two eyes and a grin.
Rinse and repeat.
Finally he gave in to another snuggle and song by his daddy and went to sleep.
So I've boiled it down to two options:
Buy a crib tent.
Or put him in a big boy bed and put a child proof handle on the inside of his door.
I can't handle the idea of him wandering around the house at night by himself and I can't handle the idea of standing guard duty at his door for 40 minutes every night, but my mom insists that neither of these options are humane.
But in my opinion, either one would be more humane than the jump rope I have tied between his bedroom doorknob and the bathroom right now.
Kind advice welcomed :)
6 comments:
So, I have heard about moms who hold the door knob until the kids gives up and then it is not locked for the night. But it still leaves the issue of the kid getting up in the night-he might not but I can see how that might make you nervous. I have also heard of baby gates in the doorway. Don't know how that would rank on Mom's inhumane meter. Good luck!
First, let me say that reading your blog is totally inspirational to me as a mom. Your insights and honesty make me want to try harder at this mothering thing.
Second, let me say that locking your kid in their bed/room may seem inhumane. I get that. But is both of you losing sleep, being tired/grumpy and you continuing to wonder what you should do over and over any more humane? At my house we'd have a door lock already...
I know I am always negative with stuff like this (remember my trampoline horror story), but my sister-in-law was talking about a tent once. I googled it and a bunch of safety stuff popped up (kids strangling).
Some, not all, of our kids responded to the nightlight on if you are in bed, nightlight off if you get out or same thing with the door open if you stay in bed, closed if you get out. Other than that I had a pillow and blanket by my bed for my kids who would not stay put. They were not allowed in bed with us because I am such a light sleeper and they did not mind the floor.
Probably none of that is helpful, but it's all I got!
Good luck with your little smiley, sheepish cutie!
I totally lock my kids in their room at night (until they are potty trained). That is one of the wisest things I have done. Once they saw the door was locked they would usually give up and go back to bed. Getting a big boy bed will not change your problem one bit. He will still get out just as much. It is the same training for staying in a big bed as staying in the crib. The only thing, "can he get back in the crib?" Maybe a night on the floor will help him remember LOL. Kids actually like knowing their boundaries more than you think. Knowing they cannot get out at night will be comforting, not punishing
We've used child locks on the inside of the room, and I have to admit that I haven't felt bad about it. It's just too exhausting playing the game of them getting up SO much!
We've even toyed with the idea of switching the doorknob so the lock is on the outside of the room.
Our kids love having their door open when they go to sleep, so just threatening to close the door helps them stay in bed.
Good luck!
Let's be honest, I've had to stoop to new lows with Abe. He is my child with physical power without the developed brains (cause and effect). For his safety, we have a hook and eye (not the prettiest little thing)on the outside of his door.
When he is going down for his nap, I tell him, "I'm going to lock your door so Ella doesn't interrupt you. etc" (They share a room now). He never tries to open it, because he knows it won't (don't remember him trying for very long at all or really at all).
Anyway, I unlock it a little while later after I know he is asleep. I never have it locked all night long or anything. I'm a total softy when it comes to my kids usually...but I justified this because it seems similar to the concept of the crib where you put them somewhere they can't get out for THEIR safety. I can't have Abe wondering the house without me knowing...we also had a babygate at the top of our stairs and the hook and eye on most doors.
Maybe I'm a little baised though...because I've read my sister-in-law's struggles with this (http://alybrad.blogspot.com/2008/08/breakfast-anyone.html).
Good luck!
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