Gold

Stand on up and take a bow,

there's something there and it's showing.

There's no need to look around,

you're the best we've got going.

Shout out to the dreams you'll chase.

Shout out to hearts you'll break.

Nothings gonna stop you now.

I guess you better be going.

It won't take long to get when you feel like you're soaring.

So write it all and don't forget, you gotta tell us your story.

 Ava's favorite song right now is Gold by Owl City.

  It wasn't until this morning, as I heard her belting it from her room upstairs as she cleaned, that I actually listened to the words and realized how apropos it is for her.

A few months ago she got invited to a dance class on Bring a Friend Day.  I knew it would happen, she came home begging to sign up.  I can't explain exactly why we were so hesitant to say yes, but we were.

Maybe because the class was for girls who had been dancing for two years.  Maybe because, in general, Ava is not a person to whom things come easily, especially physical things.  Maybe because we've been racking our brain for ways to help boost her confidence and we feared this class would be another hit to her tender ego.

But she really, really wanted to do it.  The teacher even agreed since the class was quite small that perhaps she might be able to spend a little extra time helping Ava catch up and warned Ava that she would have to work really hard to make up for lost time.  They were just beginning the routine for the recital.  Couldn't she please, please, please take this class?

So we agreed. That same week, two other girls transferred over from a different day, making the class big instead of small, and Ava jumped into the whirlwind of dance class.

At dinner, we often do Roses and Thorns, where each person takes a turn and shares their best and worst moments of the day.  There were quite a few Wednesday nights where both her Rose and Thorn was dance class.

It was not easy for her.  She worked very hard.  She got better.  She found satisfaction in her great improvement and she felt badly because comparatively she was not where the other girls were. Instead of reading some nights, she would tap away in the foyer on the wood floor, practicing.  As the recital drew near, I even pulled out my old tap shoes and we spent a few evenings after the boys were in bed, working on our maxi ford turns and buffaloes.

Last Saturday was her recital. And she danced her heart out. She did so great! I left realizing, I could not have been more proud even if she had done every step in perfect time, in perfect form.

 More and more, I am realizing that she does more for me as a human being than I could ever do for her.  Her lesson was my lesson. I needed to learn that the steps are not as important as the process of taking them. That perfection is not the prize, the effort is. That it really doesn't matter where anyone else is along the path. That way less important than any skill or talent, the heart of a person trumps all. And finally, that in my little Ava, I really don't need to doubt.

She started the second grade reading and she finished the second grade reading.  Now we are setting our sights on math and I have no doubts we will conquer that too.  My hope is that she'll learn to stick up for herself, too, and not let people take advantage of her.  She's is beginning to see herself in a new way and it is one of the most fantastic things I've witnessed.  She truly is starting to shine.  The only left for me to do is, stand on my bed and belt into my hairbrush microphone.

You'll never be far, I'm keeping you near.

Inside of my heart, you're here.

Go on, it's gotta be time.

You're starting to shine.

Cause what you got is,

Gold, I know, you're gold.

I don't need the stars in the night, you're my treasure.

All I need is you by my side, so shine forever.

I know, you're gold.