Small and Simple

So those two above asking price offers I mentioned in the last post no longer exist. Even when you tell yourself not to get your hopes up, it's really hard not to. The first people backed out plain and simple and the second people got huffy we didn't pick them in the first place and said they'd decided they didn't want our house after all.  I wish them both good luck on their search for the perfect home. I personally believe that this home is pretty close to it, but I am admittedly biased.

So last week was the first week of Dan working in Denver and me and the kids maintaining the homestead.  We had to keep the house clean at all times and it was hard.  Bedtime alone is always a bit challenging, finding places to go during showings requires some creativity.  But guess what?  The week was really, really good.

For the majority of my life I have identified completely as an extrovert.  I needed people.  I needed to be around them.  To converse with them.  To interact with them.  It was my secret syrup. It's what made me happy and relaxed and energized all at once. As I have gotten older, that tendency has slowly reversed in on itself.  I like smaller groups.  I like one on one time.  I like alone time.  I missed Dan like crazy last week but I was really grateful that the whole week was manageable and I wasn't excessively lonely. The kids got along well.  I dug up some atypical amounts of patience from somewhere.  And in the hustle of the morning routine, I looked ahead at that time after the kids were in bed when I would be absolutely alone, when I would have to answer to exactly, no one.  I wouldn't have to listen.  I wouldn't have to talk.  I wouldn't have to do anything. And it thrilled me. Those thoughts propelled me in peace to reach the evening that awaited me.  And I realized that I have become a full fledged introvert.

But even through the great week we were having family-wise, these bad offers were pretty sad.  I realized that we were in for a roller coaster ride whether we wanted on or not.  For a couple of days, when I was daydreaming of my solitude, I imagined myself, after the kids were in bed, watching any girl movie I wanted.  I had the idea to pick up some when we went on the already promised library trip that Wednesday after school.  Well, you know what happens when you take 4 kids into the library, right?  They did great and were whispery and obedient until they weren't and then I realized we had to get the heck out of their before the complete meltdown.  Which also meant, my girl movies were left there on the shelves,  ready to be checked out by some other lonely female.

That night, the night after both offers fell through, after my kids were in bed, a friend called and asked if she could bring me something.  Of course I agreed and in a few minutes, there she was at the door with a hot chocolate and a bag full of girl movies.

I hadn't told a soul about my movie plans.  She explained that she felt a little silly bringing them but had been thinking about me earlier in the day and it just came to mind that I might like to watch after the kids were in bed.  I was very appreciative.  And that evening as I sat in my bed and watched Sweet Home Alabama and thought about how mindful my friend was, I realized with a little help from the Holy Ghost, that this was not just a case of my friend being nice, but this was a simple little way, easily overlooked, that an even more mindful Heavenly Father was nudging me on the shoulder saying, I see you. And as pleasurable as the solitude of that evening was, it was nothing compared to the feeling that I wasn't alone,  that our family was not to be left on our own.  I knew then, that even if the home sale doesn't go the way we hope or want, that we are part of a plan, beautifully choreographed by the author of life.  And I want Him writing my story. No matter what happens, I know that my Heavenly Father is watching out for us.

Dan came home for the weekend.  We were all so excited! But the stress that sits on our shoulders at the moment, keeps things from being "normal" and we sort of step awkwardly through each day, trying to maintain some semblance of our former routine even though nothing is the same. Friday night Finn got sick.  I've never had a baby this young get a stomach bug but the poor little thing vomited all night.

And I'll bet you can't guess what happened next.  Last night Max and Ava were puking their brains out until about 4 am and poor Dan couldn't avoid it either.  He could write his own blog post about his adventure in the airport and airplane lavatory in the early morning hours.  It's the kind of entertaining that's only funny when it's not about you.

When the smoke cleared this morning, the house was a battle zone.  Somebody looked like they'd been killed on the carpet in the boys room, even though it was only vomit stains.  Every blanket I own was soiled and every towel was either laid out as a protective barrier, waded up in a trash bag to contain the stink, or spinning around in the washing machine.  I had a kid on the couch downstairs that had been there the entire night wearing out a path to the bathroom.  

I try to keep the house no more than two steps off track so that when a showing is scheduled I can get things in order in a reasonable amount of time.  This morning we were about fifty steps off.  From the reek of the boys bedroom to the baking soda sprinkled all over the wet carpet, if somebody had scheduled a showing I don't think it would have been possible.

So for the first time in the two and a half weeks it's been on the market, I started praying for no showings.  That has only happened 2 times in this process so I wasn't sure how likely it was to happen again. But if there was any day we needed to be able to stay in our home, this was one of them.

And I'll bet you can't guess what happened next.  There were no showings.  Ava slept on the couch the entire day feeling like poo.  I slowly put things back together and hopefully eradicated the stink.  And as I was putting the last dishes in the dishwasher tonight, I felt that same nudge.  No showings today was not a coincidence.  I see you.