Number 5

So we're having a baby tomorrow.

This fact has been a source of great excitement but also of great worry and concern.

This is number 5, which feels like a lot.

Number 1 is struggling and causing a lot of added stress.

Number 4 is 18 months old and actually still a baby himself.

If just one of these above statements wasn't in play I think I would be a lot less worried.

But they are all very much in play.

So today I took the three older kids to church while Dan stayed home with Finn who doesn't seem to be feeling well.

But at church my mind was a million other places.

We are having another kid tomorrow!  A thought which leads my mind down a road with many twists and turns and leaves no room for paying attention to talks during sacrament meeting.

I questioned why I was still sitting there.  I had a million things to do at home to get ready and I was obviously not about to garner anything from this meeting.

As it was coming to an end, I was as anxious as the kids to say that last "amen".

But first we had to sing a closing hymn.

How Firm a Foundation.  That's a good one.

When we got to the last verse, it was clearer than glass why I needed to be in that meeting today,  perfectly clear through the Holy Ghost that there was something to be garnered even through my own jumbled thoughts and worries.

I felt with perfect clarity these words were directly for me:

Fear not, I am with thee
Oh, be not dismayed.
For I am thy God
 and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee,
Help thee,
and cause thee to stand.
Upheld by my righteous,
omnipotent hand.


I know that Heavenly Father is exactly aware of our family right now, as He has always been.  The reminder of that has to be one of the best feelings.

And this one was especially sweet.