From the Trenches

I feel like I have to type a hundred miles an hour if I'm going to make any headway on this post, so I'll just apologize now for all the typos.  Right now, both babies are asleep and one can never know how long that will last.  We scrapped school completely today after our poor attitudes made us ineffective learners and teachers.  I have never been so tired in my life.

I counted it up yesterday, someone in our house has been sick for the last 46 days.  That is a long time, people.  Luke started it on Christmas Eve and since then it has spread and morphed through the family.  It has involved 5 ear infections, croup, RSV, and a host of other undiagnosed maladies.

Jack's colic seemed to calm right around the beginning of December, he started sleeping from about 9pm-4am, and it was like stumbling into an oasis after dragging myself through the desert for 3 months. We went to Utah for Christmas which was wonderful but he hasn't slept through the night since. And most nights it's not like he just wakes up once or twice to eat, it's more like he wakes up to eat and then never really gets to back to sleep and he fusses most of the night.  My milk is on it's way out so I've got him weaned to a bottle except at night because I'd rather be the world's largest pacifier than walk up and down the stairs making bottles multiple times a night.  I think one of the reasons he's so hungry at night has been because he's been sick. A cold that turned into RSV.  I hate RSV.  Besides making him sound like he needed to lay off the cigarette's, it caused him to either lose his appetite or be unable to eat more than an ounce or two at a time, I can't be sure which.  Anyways, I wasn't about to let my poor sick poppit cry it out/be hungry/go comfortless.  So I did what I had to do and continued to break all of my baby sleep rules.  I try to move my babies to their own room between 3-4 months.  Jack is 4.5 months and well, here we are.

The RSV thing was just stupid.  But as far as RSV goes I consider ourselves really lucky.  Jack responded very well to breathing treatments (which apparently only a small percentage of cases do) which meant that when his oxygen levels were concerningly low, after a treatment with the nebulizer they'd jump back up to the normal range.  This fact kept us out of the hospital, thank goodness.

There was one terrible 4am run to the emergency room after Jack choked on his phlegm (isn't that a lovely word? Phlegm?) Anyway, he started coughing and then got completely choked up.  I grabbed him up out of his bed and started running around my bedroom, yelling Dan's name, and banging on his back.  After what felt like an eternity, he threw up.  After that his breathing was really labored so I ran him down to the nebulizer. While the nebulizer fog swirled around his face and he struggled to breathe, we contemplated what we should do.  Call 911?  That seemed overboard, unless it wasn't, know what I mean?  I was worried about putting him in the backseat alone to drive to the hospital, unable to see him, but someone needed to stay home with the other kids.  As the minutes passed and his breathing evened out, we felt a release of urgency and decided a regular, one parent trek to the hospital ought to cover it.  It turns out that breathing treatment was all he needed and they didn't do anything more at the hospital other than watch his oxygen saturation for a few hours and discover a double ear infection.

He's finally coming out of it, two weeks later.  Meanwhile, the rest of the crew has been battling a similar upper respiratory virus, though Finn's taken it the worst. And almost as if they're in cahoots, ever since Jack was born, Finn is waking up, on average 2 times a night, more when he's sick.  That has, unfortunately for him, become Dan's very tired problem.

 But today we were fever free and last night Jack only woke up once.  Hope is on the horizon!

He may have failed Sleeping 101 miserably, but he's already earning college credit in his Sweetsie Pie Handsome Punkin Face AP class. He's remarkably advanced.

Dan sent me and Jack to Chicago for a quick weekend visit with my parents for my birthday, which was so thoughtful of him.

And while I was there, he called me to mention one other surprise--tickets to Garth Brooks.

 I feel like I can never pay him back for how good he is to me.


 I'm 33 now.

Don't be jealous, I know I'm a complete babe.  I think this was probably day 5 without a shower.

And it's funny how the older I get, the more my perspective changes on what's "old."  The years keep passing but I'm not sure I'll ever be old.

This is my third writing installment on this same post.  I never have more than 15 minutes to rub together, but right now, it's 7:15 pm, Finn is in bed, Jack is taking a "nap," and Dan has the big kids at the movie theater to see Paddington.  That is the reward for their uncharacteristic, shocking, completely self imposed restriction on treats for the month of January.


As surprised as I was, I was happy to join the challenge, and Dan came along out of duty.  But they did it! Luke originally wanted to go the entire year with no sweets for $200.  But by week 2 of the month's challenge, after building up quite a stash,

 he retracted his statement, citing it wasn't worth it.  He has a funny view of money that's for sure...

"If I had 100 dollars I would buy 100 ziploc bags because I can carry lots and lots of stuff in the ziploc bags."


He's been reading and writing up a storm.  His mind likes to be working all the time.

  He doesn't get much out of TV though he's recently taken an interest in the show "How It's Made" on the Science channel that I started recording for homeschool.

Max is still Max.  He is super stubborn and super sweet.  He is finally overcoming his fear of being alone on any floor of the house, which is good because his requests for me to come with him where ever he went were really unrealistic.

 I sometimes think he truly believes that my one sole purpose on this earth is to make him food.  His requests for food are without beginning or end.   Still, the love that emanates from this kid is overwhelming in a really, really good way.

Finn is kind of a nightmare.  A really cute nightmare.

Terrible Two's hit early and I imagine they'll stay late. So impolite.  His vocabulary has really blossomed but unfortunately it includes a high percentage of unintelligible words. He knows what he means, but if you don't? Watch out.  Scream central.

 I've come up with a theory.  It goes like this: At any given moment, there is a 97.65% chance that someone in the Colton household is crying and/or screaming.

If you want to be a part of something fantastic, you should really stop by and do some yoga with us. Finn doing yoga is on the list of Top Best Things.

At even the mention of the word yoga, he is on the ground, on his tummy, in the bow pose.

I finally turned his car seat around.  He was funny because he has actually preferred to ride backwards all this time.  I think it's because he had a front row seat to the big boys' antics in the back.  But he's been fine with the switch and I like looking in the rear view mirror and seeing his sweet little face.

I attempted to cut his hair, which spurred a tantrum of epic proportions, but once you've started something like that, the only real way out, is through it.  And that's how Finn got the worst haircut ever.  I pray every night that his hair will grow back quickly.

But he is still so cute.  The way he says "yes", the way he whispers "i love you", the way he calls his paci a "pajee", the way he pats, the way he snuggles, the way runs to keep up with the big kids, the way he says his little prayers. Just everything about him keeps our hearts soft even though he screams a lot.

Homeschool marches on.  Ava is doing great.

 We have some not-so-good days now and then, but most of them are good.  And even at that, the bad ones are about a 1000 times more successful than any day in public school was for her.  She has learned so much in such a short time.  And I have really appreciated her responsibility lately, as we had so many doctor's appointments and kinks in our schedule.  I could leave her the day's assignments and when I returned, she had them completed along with all of her chores.  Of course we both enjoy working together more, but it was nice that we didn't really lose much momentum even through all of the sickness.

Maybe it's just me, but I really think I can see a difference in her confidence and certainly the stress level in our house and in her heart have decreased immensely.

A couple of weeks ago, she passed out invitations to a party in her room that she had planned all on her own, complete with decorations and a ton of games.  The boys had the best time.  I loved watching and playing Freeze dance and musical chairs and especially watching Ava make sure each boy was happy and having fun. It was one of those times that really felt magical being a mom.  They don't come around all that often (that's what makes them magical) but I sure do appreciate them.  And the fact that I now know there is always something to celebrate, including January 31st.

One other Magic Mom Moment happened recently.  The whole family was driving home one night, when we stopped at the store for Dan to run in and grab a couple of things.  While the rest of us waited in the car, Max began to explain that he was having ugly, scary thoughts in his mind and he couldn't get them out.  I asked what they were but he said he couldn't say because they were too scary. He started to cry and went on to explain that he's been having really bad dreams too and he was scared to sleep.  Bad dreams are hard because there really isn't much you can do about them.  We started talking about some ways he could think about happier things (sing a song, say a prayer, count).  Ava offered up ideas from her own experiences and he seemed to calm down.  I promised we could talk about it more at bedtime and that I would snuggle him a little extra before I said goodnight.

So later that night, when I finally got in the boys' room, ready to sing my traditional song to each one (Luke-I Am a Child of God, Max-Hush My Dear One) I discovered that Ava had already given Max one of her stuffed animals to sleep with.  We talked about how sweet that was of her.  And then I said I would say a special prayer for him.  Right then Luke pipes up and says, "I already said a prayer for Max.  When we were in the car and he was scared, I felt so sad for him. So I said a prayer that he would feel better and not have bad dreams either."  My mommy heart was bursting. These were not big things.  But they were small things done with great love. I pointed out to Max, and we both agreed with happy tears in our eyes, how lucky he was to have such good brothers and sister.


Love is a battlefield and Dan and I are fighting! Even though the days are long, and sometimes hard, we're gonna win this thing.

  And when we do, I am going to take a really long nap.