What the BEEP?

Dan is a fairly stable man. Really stable, actually. That's why he's good for me, he never gets too riled up about things. But this week I have seen his feathers ruffled and the source of his anger, frustration, and obsessing has been from a most unlikely culprit, if you ask me.

You see, we have been plagued by beeps. Beeps loud enough to be heard throughout the whole house.

Beep!



Beep!



Beep!


It does get kind of annoying.


We tracked the beeps to our smoke detectors. Off of our hallway are the two kids' bedrooms and a bathroom. And in the hall there is a smoke detector and one in each of the kids bedrooms. The only other one is in our master bedroom. But the beeping seemed to come from the hallway.

So we got out the ladder and Dan proceeded try to change the batteries, but we didn't have the right size.

So I got some at the drugstore that night. Too bad they were the wrong ones. He tried pushing all the buttons, but to no avail. So all night... Beep!


Beep!


Beep!

Now it's also important to note that Luke has been having some weird fears lately. Like the door handle in Dan's car and the air vent and dry cleaner hook in the van. This mysterious beeping was causing Luke a little trauma too.

He heard it from the bathtub one day and demanded out! Crying and screaming, "Beep!"


So after the correct batteries were purchased, we replaced the old ones in every single detector. And right as Dan slid the last one back into place, BEEP!

Beep!

At night after the kids were in bed, Dan and I would sit on the couch to watch a little TV and he just radiated negativity.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked.

"Nothing."

"Is it the beeping?"

"Yes! Where is it coming from?! Why is it doing this? I've read online, Elise! People have this problems for months! How are we gonna get it to shut up?!"

He sounded like me when I talk about my emotional problems!

So I said, what he always tells me, when I am in the pit of despair and feel like I will never get out, "Don't worry! We'll figure this out! Everything will be okay."

But really, at every opportunity Dan was in the hallway on his ladder, poking, prodding, shutting on and off the power, disconnecting and reconnecting every single smoke detector.



But still, BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Last night we went in the attic. We looked all around for any possibility of a culprit. And we found nothing.

The other important thing to note is that for some reason, the battery back up to our computer started making it's own beep a few days ago. Only not the intermittent kind, the long-drawn-out-never-stop BEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!


We put it in the closet in the office with a bunch of blankets on top. But when you sit at the computer you can still hear it. Dan likes to pretend it was the wind whistling. Actually he doesn't like to pretend that, he has to.

Anyway, we slept another night with the beeps.

And then today while the kids were having their rests, Dan had had enough. He wasn't messing around another minute. He got the ladder back out. He turned off the power to the entire house. And he disconnected the smoke detector all together. And when his foot hit the second rung on the ladder,



BEEP!


We had spent countless time there in that hallway trying to figure out where the beeps were coming from. But then and there we were positive that the beep had not come from the hallway. I went in to the bathroom. I looked in the closet. I checked in the drawers. I looked in the cabinets. And it was there, under the sink in a basket full of random stuff that I found this,


And the mystery was solved. As I held it in my hands, it uttered the unmistakable and very loud, BEEP!


Dan resisted the urge to chuck it in the back yard, instead he changed it's batteries and put it in our closet. It's always good to have a carbon monoxide detector around.

So now, one down one to go. Dan's mood has noticeably improved and I think it feels good to have a win under his belt. Up next is the battery back-up. Right now I am voting that we take it in the backyard and smash it with a hammer, but we'll see.




And as a completely unrelated but noteworthy tidbit, Luke gave me his very first unsolicited "I love you" today. We sat on the couch watching TV and he reached over and patted my arm, and said, "Momma, love you."

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways...













I have been going back and forth about how to catch up with my blog. There has not been so much happening necessarily, maybe just in my own head. But things have been improving lately so I almost hesitate to rehash the misery. It's kind of like Ava told me when I tried to bring up her experience getting a catheter placed for a kidney exam last year as an example of a time she was brave, "I don't want to talk about it, cause I go back there in my magination and I don't want to."

And I really don't want to go back in my magination to the unpleasant place I found myself recently either. At the same time I do want an accurate accounting of our life and our adjustment to our third child. In fact, I wanted to record some of the really special and precious things I have learned through the yuckiness, but when I try to write, they just won't come. I have decided I will just continue from here, and if things come up, they come up. But better to move forward than sit and wait to find the right words.

Last week I sat in the doctor's office with Luke who had croup again for the 2nd time this month. As we waited a young girl of about nine, with no warning, began puking in the waiting room.

Now I have totally learned my lesson about judging, especially in regards to other people's children. I'm sure it was one to many, "my kids will never do that...!" thoughts that got me where I am today. So it was definitely not with judgment that I held back my own vomit.

I simply thought, to myself, "I am so glad that Ava gives me some warning before she throws up. It really makes things easier."

But apparently that was judgment enough because two days later, as we were eating our traditional Saturday lunch at Sam's Club, Ava walks over to me and says, "I think I'm gonna throw up," and proceeded to do so all over the floor.

Thanks for the warning kid.

Then a couple of days later, Luke woke up with a swollen eye and another trip to the doctor confirmed pink eye.

We've been a little sick this past week.

Max made his first little giggle last week as well. He's either happy or sad, never much in between. He loves to be held by his Mommy and usually his Daddy and that's about it. But the voice who makes his little eyes light up the most is Ava.

Baby Blessing Day

Sunday January 17, 2010 we blessed Max.

My parents were here for the weekend.

Max was a vision, in my humble opinion.



The weekend was one of emotional turmoil for me, which I am sure will be addressed in a subsequent post. Saturday, Dan and I were able to attend the temple together for the first time in a long time. Other than the fact that I was struggling to stay awake, our time there brought me some peace that I desperately needed.

During Max's blessing the next day, I continued to feel that peace even while Ava threw a fit there in our pew. The blessing was wonderful and contained many great and beautiful promises.

I feel so glad that I got a few pictures since that has been a struggle for me lately.


I sure love my beautiful boy.

A Welcome Visit

From beneath my blanket of pessimism I have yet to mention the really wonderful visit we had from Dan's parents right after Christmas.

We had a great time and I wish I had taken more pictures. Story of my life.

We took a tour of the Blue Bell ice cream factory, where Don and Linda were converted to the traditional Texas treat, of which I also got no pictures. We played at the mall, went to the library, ate out a few times, read stories together, and built lots and lots of towers!


One of Luke's favorite things in life is to build towers out of his big legos. And Grandpas make the perfect building companions. But I didn't get a picture of that either!




And while they were here, Linda gave me one of the best presents ever, she managed to rethread my serger. I am excited to find a minute to put it to use and will be praying heartily that I don't screw it up. Thank you, Linda!

I was sad to see our time together come to an end. I wish our visits could be more frequent! We can't wait for our next visit!

Long Time, No Blog

As evidenced by my lack of posting, I suppose it is clear that I am in over my head. I rock back and forth between feelings of contentment and ambition to feelings of overwhelming anxiety.

I have found myself brought to tears as I watch my children and husband and can't help but think,

I am so lucky.

I also find myself brought to tears thinking,

This is really hard and I am really scared.

Today has been a good day so it's a good day to post.

We had Christmas. Our first with no family and it will never hold a spot in my memory as one of my favorites.

We did do the traditional sugar cookie decorating and delivering (though we didn't really carol because it was sooo cold and windy.) And we decorated a gingerbread house too.



The kids got toys. They liked some of them. Every year we say we are going to go low key. This year it wasn't that far off but it could have been lower. If only I had a magical power that would allow me to know ahead of time which toys were going to be the "hit". Then I wouldn't waste me time or money on the rest of the stuff that just clutters up the house.

Do I sound like a scrooge? I am a scrooge.

This year, Ava loved her Sleeping Beauty dress and her two stuffed cats from Ikea (The Ikea Kitties) and Luke did like his new trains and railroad floor mat.




Christmas day was lonely, though Christmas dinner and night were quite pleasant. In the time leading up to Christmas I had some new and welcome feelings and realizations about the Birth of Jesus Christ.

Dan and I got each other a new car for Christmas. It was more coincidence than present but we'll take it. No more unreliable Pearl.


It's a Nissan Versa and we like it very much. Dan loves that it is the cheapest car in America.
I love that the backseat is extra roomy for long legs and that I feel young and free when I drive it! I'm always begging to take that thing to the grocery store on Saturdays!


Since our ward split I was released from my calling as a counselor in the Young Women. A calling I had managed to stay in for two years and through three different Young Women presidencies. This topic could require a post of it's own, but I can summarize by saying that I absolutely loved my work and especially the girls. I shed a lot of tears over that change. I miss it so dearly.

And now I find myself in an almost polar opposite position, teaching the rowdiest 8 year old boys I have ever met, in Primary. But for me, one of the tender mercies of God has been the Primary music. It has been on more than one occasion that I sit in my row as half the boys won't stop talking and the others are falling off of their chairs or laying on the floor and I have tears welling in my eyes because the simple and beautiful music touches me so much.

Also of note is that Ava lost a tooth!



We worried at first that something must be wrong but after a week or so the new tooth began to make an appearance. Dentist appointments are still in the works, but we're not too worried about it now. She is only 4 and a half and most children don't lose teeth that young, but as if I didn't already know, Ava isn't most children.

I have been speed reading "The Highly Sensitive Child" and found it helpful, enlightening, and a little anxiety provoking. Probably because I am, drumroll please...highly sensitive myself. Shocker, I know.

Max is just growing and growing. He has such an easy smile. Just a glance in his direction usually brings out a huge grin and he is starting now to try to "talk" back to us. Ava can always make him smile. I feel a little bit sad because it seems like I just can't enjoy him as much as I want to. There are so many needs to be met that I find him changing before I get a chance to savor it. I know I am doing my best but I feel like he deserves so much more than he is getting. He is so sweet. Generally he's happy and sleeps pretty well, though somehow it never feels like enough!

He did get some of his two month shots and this is how he felt about it.



And this week I will turn 28. I am not sure that I ever imagined where I'd be or what I would be like at 28. But 28 doesn't sound that appealing right now. I am hoping to get what I didn't get for Christmas, Skinny and Sleep, but I am not holding my breath!