A Whole New World!

Nearly two years ago, Jack was born and Ava started homeschool.  It is no coincidence that is when this blog really started to suffer.  And you might be thinking, "Just give it up already! Blogs are so over." But I can't and I won't.

I need to write.  I need it.  My kids love to look through the blog books.  And a few weeks ago, I was looking back through the archives and found a few references to Max being a horrible child.  And that made me SO HAPPY!!!  Wanna know why?  Because Max isn't half bad now and those posts gave me HOPE.  HOPE! Hope that sometime in the not so distant future, the adorable hellions, Jack and Finn, may turn out okay and that Dan and I, if we can just hold on a little longer, may turn out okay as well.

Don't get me wrong.  These kids are our heart and soul.  They simultaneously make me weep with joy and want to stand in front of a bus.  They are what gets me up in the morning and what keeps me awake at night.  They are the most precious commodity I could ever possess.  I love them.  And they are hard.

But the point I'm getting at is, for the first time in 2 years, I now have a potential time for myself, a time I may be able to more regularly write. And that makes me happy too!

Ava floats between the satisfaction of homeschool and her desire to experience middle school and be "normal".  I've tried over and over to explain that normal doesn't exist and that middle school is nothing more than a pulsating conglomeration of all that is gross and wrong with life.  Seriously, no offense to middle schoolers (I'm sure yours are lovely), but middle school is horrible.

We discovered a homeschool charter school that is a great compromise.  She attends on Tues and Thurs.  She has different classes and teachers.  And luckily, its not all "weird homeschoolers" (I'm allowed to say that because we are).  But the kids are generally "normal" and very nice. It is a classical school and operates under what they call a "university model," meaning the classes meet once or twice a week and assignments are to be completed at home and turned in on various due dates.  It's pretty great so far. The only real downside is that it's 25 minutes away.

Finn is going, a little bit reluctantly, to preschool on Monday and Wednesday.  We may add in Fridays once he gets used to it, but right now, 2 days a week is plenty.  He does ok, but every time I pick him up, the teacher (who used to teach Max) wants me to know, just in case he mentions it at home, that he screams, kind of loud, when he is upset.  I would try to act like I have no idea what she's talking about but I'm a horrible liar.  I kind of hate to send him to school this year, though I think it might do him some good, "See Finn, not all 3 year olds scream when they are upset.  Some of them use their words.  You should try that." But the truth is, right now Finn is taking one for the team.  I need Mondays and Wednesdays to work with Ava without absolute hell breaking loose the whole time.  I wondered how Jack would do all on his own on those days, but so far he's doing great.  He empties out the entire pantry (all the shelves he can reach) as well as the silverware drawer but I don't even care because that's so much better compared to what we're used to.

Max is liking school okay.  I'm feeling lucky there are no major issues for him, I'm not sure I'd have the emotion fortitude for it.  Though we've really got to step up our reading game.  He lost a lot of ground over the summer.

Luke is doing well too.  He really hates that he's in 3rd grade instead of 4th.  Had he started kindergarten in Colorado (half day), we never would have held him back, but we can't change it now.  He is in the determination process for the GT program and part of me wants to just go in and ask if they'd move him up a grade instead.  I know it will only continue to be an issue as the kids grow, but while I want him in the program if it's what he really needs, I don't want him in there if it will cause a sore spot between him and his sister.

But with all of these children in their respective places (the three bigs at school and the two littles in their beds) naptimes on Tues and Thurs have brought a new meaning to my life.  I can't even take it! I know there are plenty of things I should be doing, but it has been SO long since I have had even the slightest bit of discretionary time, I'm fighting away the guilt of the dishes and laundry that constantly plague me, and the YW planning I should be doing for my calling, and I am doing whatever the heck I want, and it's this!

Last week was a terribly hard week.  I felt like I might drown, and the thing I kept feeling I wanted and needed, was to just write it all down.  All of it.  Writing things out somehow allows me to process through things so much better.  I have missed it desperately.  And after last week, I was reminded that it is more than just an enjoyment, it's more than record keeping, it is a very necessary outlet to keep me afloat. And now I hope to be able to take advantage of having a little time to do it.

A Day in the Life of Jack

Just minutes after taking the boys to school for their first days of 1st and 3rd grades, I heard what sounded like the rustling of a cereal box from the other room. But I reassured myself that I replaced the Cheerio box on the counter, well out of reach, after I poured a bowl for Finn. 

But the sounds continued, followed by what was, unmistakably, a shower of cereal being poured out onto the floor. 

I ran in to find this.

Don't you remember the No Eating in the Family Room rule, Baby Jack? 

And sure enough, after looking in the kitchen, I had left the box exactly where I thought. But unfortunately, I forgot there was another smaller box, in the pantry, just calling Jack's name. 

Later, he pulled his usual trick and emptied the silverware drawer no less than 3 times today.

And we're proud to announce that Jack is 6 days sober. He hasn't hit the bottle since last Friday. That is a big deal because he basically used his bottle as a paci. It was rare to see him without it dangling out of his mouth at any and all hours of the day. You could say it's been an interesting week :/ I swear though, the amount of whining and crying has been the same. He still asks for, "Baba! Baba!" But we just tell him that "we gave it to the  babies." And for some reason that always makes him smile, at least for a minute before he asks again. 

Everyday he asks for it less, but more and more often I notice him doing this.

Which I have no idea how to remedy because, staying true to his form, while all the other kids took paci's, he never did, always preferring a bottle or now, his hand and he just keeps reminding me that my previous experience means nothing and I still don't really know what I'm doing.