Not Your Typical Mother's Day Post

First of all, I have had such a fabulous Mother's Day. Breakfast in bed, cute cards and notes, well-behaved kids at church, Ava's singing performance, delicious dinner with my own mother. Just a great day.

And this week in the mail, my Mother's Day gift from Dan arrived early. He got me a Bosch mixer! I am very excited but now the pressure is on to start making some good stuff with it.

I am so lucky to be a mother. These past few weeks I have been reminded again and again, what an eternal thing this is. I am so good at not seeing the long term picture. Sometimes I get caught up in my own worries about my kids, when the truth is, whatever is going to happen, will happen whether I am worrying about it or not. Better to spend my time and effort working to bring about the best situations I can and actually enjoy myself while I'm doing it. And still, whatever will happen, will happen. I just need to have faith that it will all work out in the end. Which it will. It seems so obvious but just saying to myself, "It is what it is" brings some simple peace when I need it.

As I contemplated how I would write this next part, I debated between coming up with some witty, brief, infer-what-you-will type of prose or just come on out and say I peed my pants.

So, I peed my pants. Let me tell you about it. And when I am done, if you would be so kind as to still be my friend or tell me that you pee your pants all the time, even if it's just to make me feel better, I would really, really appreciate it.

I ran my first 5k on Saturday. It was aptly called The Mom Run. I run the distance of a 5k about 3 times a week normally. I like to run with my phone, where my handy app keeps track of my pace and distance and then updates me along the way. I listen to my music and don't look at my time or anything. I just wait for that little voice to tell me how I'm doing. Generally I run the same pace each time. So this race seemed like no biggie.

But after this race I now know what it means to have "race experience". I don't think I have "race experience" yet but as I'm sure you are guessing, I did have an experience on this race. So let's just skip to the good part.

At the starting line I am a little nervous. I came alone. Dan and the kids hoped to be there in time to see me finish but I had my doubts based on the terrible construction and traffic I had already faced on my way in.

When the gun sounded I took off with everybody else. I totally underestimated how hard it would be to find my regular old pace in that pack. So from the start I could tell I was going faster than normal, but I didn't realize how fast until I heard the voice in my phone tell me that I ran the first mile in 6 minutes and 40 seconds, nearly 2 and half minutes faster than my usual.

I knew I needed to slow down, there would be no way in hail I could keep that going. But from then on I was totally off my stride. I lost my mojo. I ran the second mile still faster than my usual. And then with about 1/2 a mile left. Everything went south. Everything. I had to pee.

Right now. I have to pee right now. Oh my gosh, I am peeing right now. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

I will never stop thanking the high heavens for black shiny spandex shorts. Had I been in my gray shorts I would have been thanking the high heavens for cell phones while I called Dan to come pick me up from the bushes.

It was the most disconcerting feeling. I stopped mid stride and sat down on the curb. I got back up, ran a few more paces and sat down again because it wasn't over.

I ended up walking for a few minutes. I wanted to quit so bad but my car was at the finish line, so finish I must. And if I was going that way, I might as well run, right?

I broke my own rule and looked at my phone. I could still get a good time if I kept going. So I did.

I googled "peeing while you run" when I got home. Apparently it's kind of common, especially when you are pushing your body. I think the worst part is knowing that if I had just run the way I usually do, I would have finished with about the same time, minus sitting on the curb and the pee problem.

Dan and the kids didn't make it and I didn't feel like sitting around to hear the results. I was happy with my 28:28 time. For the second time in my 2 race history I rode home on a plastic bag. I checked the computer later that day to find out that I got first in my age division. I guess that's what happens when there aren't very many 25-29 year olds in a race.

I have always been keenly aware of the physical sacrifices made by mothers. Probably too much so. My body will never be the same. Being unable to control my bladder at The Mom Race is no coincidence. It's the price I pay for these babies, but I must be honest and say, that while I hope it never happens again, I'd pee my pants 1,000 times over if it meant I got to have these loves forever.


And that is my irreverent Mother's Day tribute. Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful women in my life, very especially my own mother, who still loves me despite my running incontinence.