I'm feeling half human today, which is a welcome improvement. Unfortunately, we don't exactly know anything more than we did before the surgery. Next week, the results of a biopsy will hopefully shed some more light on what's going on in there. And so we wait.
It's kind of funny that I mentioned the "horrendous crown" and the surgery together in the previous post. Because if there is anything that would make an uncomfortable, unusual day 1,000 times weirder, it's doing it all without your front tooth.
The first thing I remember coming out of the anesthesia, is asking with an unfortunate lisp, "Where is my tooth?" I was then informed that as they had attempted to insert the breathing tube, the nurse anesthetist used my teeth as a leverage point and it popped right off.
Dan was kind enough to make me an appointment at the dentist for the next day to have it put back on. The next few hours I was sleeping on and off though eventually I was wide awake, doing my best to come home, and totally over trying to talk with my mouth closed.
"I think when you get your tooth put back on, I'll be able to forget that you looked like this." Dan said more to himself than to me.
We got home much later than expected, about 6:30pm. And it wasn't until I was home that I caught my own reflection in the mirror and truly realized the awfulness of my appearance. Seriously, never take your teeth for granted, especially your front ones. The fact that I had to shower before the surgery but had no time to devote to my hair didn't help either. I was a real mess.
That night was pretty miserable. In the morning Dan begged me to take up a station on the couch downstairs to oversee the morning routine. Ava got off to school fine and then he left to take Luke to preschool with Max.
The drywall repair man was coming at 9:30 to give us an estimate, and I knew that. Dan planned to be back just in time. I waited at my post on the couch, but at 9:10 there was a knock on the door. Looking back I think it was a combination of leftover anesthesia, exhaustion, and duty that caused me to find myself in the following awkward exchange:
I open the front door. Crazy hair. No bra. No front tooth.
Let me repeat myself in case you did not catch the gravity of my last sentence.
I opened the door with no front tooth.
And it wasn't until I saw his eyes survey me, that I realized what I had done.
Repair guy: Hiii....I'm blah blah blah blah. (I really have no recollection of what he said.)
Me: My husband.....he's gone....I can't help you....he's coming back.....I can't help you.
Repair guy: (not getting his words out any better than me) Yes...my truck (gestures towards his truck)...I'll just go....I'll just wait...in my truck....
Me:....I had surgery....I can't help you....I can't help you...
Dan came home, the drywall guy came back, and I just stayed on the couch.
I made it to the dentist that same morning (replacing a crown is pretty much the only thing I can think of that I'd be willing to leave my bed for in that state) and I never thought I'd be so happy to have that "horrendous crown" back in my mouth.
Dan let me know they'll be repairing the drywall this Saturday. I am currently deliberating between leaving the house all together or fixing myself up reaaal nice in hopes of erasing the terrible image I am sure is burned on his brain.
4 comments:
That is hilarious ... and sad. Sorry for that horrible experience. Anything involving mouth work is never fun. And hopefully they find something from your biopsy! I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Oh gosh. This was heartbreakingly funny. I'm so, so sorry! I hope they figure out what's going on, and that your new crown will make all your dreams come true.
I hope you at least took a picture, right?
That us sooo funny and sad. I'm sorry you had to go through with all that. I vote bring the sexy on. It doesn't matter what they think anyways.
One of your funniest posts I can remember.
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