First Day of School 2013

So the long awaited day has finally arrived.

Last week, I was plum out of ideas and ended up squirting the kids with a spray bottle as I dreamt of August 26.  My system has been aching for routine since we returned from Utah.  I've told myself since then, to just ride it out, get to the first day of school, and then the structure will return and the chaos will relent.  Just make it to August 26.

But today is August 26 and as I wrote on Facebook this morning:


"I CANNOT wait until school starts!" has been a predominate thought in my mind over the last month. Why then, should I be overrun with "I don't want them to go to school!" thoughts, last night? I'm pretty sure there's a diagnosis for this.

Motherhood is so confusing.

Ava set her alarm and woke up all by herself.  When I came out of Finn's room about 6:35 am she was already downstairs eating the toast she'd made herself.  There are some perks to this whole growing up thing.

Luke was awake shortly thereafter, as usual.  The morning went smoothlly and we were ready to go with plenty of time for pictures.

Dan stayed home with Max and Finn while I did the drop off.

After a couple of pictures in front of the school sign, Ava and I walked Luke to his classroom.

He was the first one there.  He gave his teacher a hug and didn't appear to be the slightest bit nervous.  That made things pretty easy for me.

I love him so much.  I'm feeling pretty confident that this is going to be a great year for him. He has a fantastic teacher, Mrs. Kerl, whom I know will love him.

His constant repetition of the phrase, "I just don't know what to do, Mom." will be missed here at home.  Actually, his sweet face and cute voice will be missed immensely, but that phrase? Not so much.  That will be one of the great things about school for Luke.  He needs nearly constant stimulation. At home he goes from one Lego set, to a puzzle, to the wii, to another Lego set, to the ipad, and on and on.  School will keep him very busy and I think he will love that.

I got Luke settled at his desk ready to color, snapped one last picture, and gave him a hug and said goodbye feeling mostly, completely happy.

When I stood up, Ava was gone.  Sometime during the whole ordeal she'd went ahead to her classroom without even saying goodbye.

I walked down the hall towards the front doors, wondering what I should do and feeling like a big weenie.  I didn't get to hug my girl.  Or tell her that I hoped she'd have a great day.  Or take a picture of her with her teacher.

I knew I was allowed to walk Luke all the way in because he is a kindergartner, but I couldn't remember what the policy was for the older kids.  I had planned to at least say goodbye to her in the hall. But now she was gone and I figured I needed to put on my big girl undies and go home.  But as soon as I walked out the front door, I involuntarily did a U-turn and marched straight back to her classroom.  I was ready to defend my silliness, but on my way there realized I wouldn't have to, as I saw lots of parents in the 3rd grade hall.

I walked into her room and she was sitting down at her desk looking a little nervous.  She doesn't really have any friends in her class this year, aside from one girl she played soccer with back in 1st grade.  She is excited for school, but anxious too.  There were quite a few tears yesterday.  I hate that school (specifically math right now) is so challenging for her.  And this is the year of The Test.  The test she is already worried about.  The test that if she doesn't pass, she cannot move on to 4th grade.  I hate this state standardized test. Anyway, I walked in the door and my girl was there.  And she saw me and smiled.  I went to her and said I couldn't leave without a hug.  I got a picture of her with her sweet teacher, Mrs. MacDonald.

I hope, hope, hope that she has a great year.

She and I have had some pretty fantastic conversations lately.  Both conversations basically revolved around the idea that if she wanted to know the truth about anything, she could pray and ask.  And that the Holy Ghost's job was to manifest the truth of all things to her.  In both instances, she got a huge smile on her face, and tears in her eyes.  I knew she was feeling it. She told me she was so happy.  She told me she wanted to cry for joy.  That made me want to cry for joy because if there is one thing I hope for my children in their lives, it is the ability to recognize and follow the promptings they receive from the Holy Ghost.  She might struggle with math, but she could be in the AP class for Feeling the Spirit.

I get overwhelmed sometimes with the beautiful little people in my life.  I came home from today's drop off to my Max, in his too-short pajama pants,

and to my Finn, the world's most beautiful baby, asleep in his crib.

I hope this doesn't come off as a braggy post.  But I can't help but feel like one of the luckiest people on earth today.