I really am so looking forward to not being pregnant that I made a paper chain. But then I remember that I'm not just counting down to non-pregnancy, I'm counting down to having five kids. And that, my friends, is what I call being caught between a rock and a hard place. I mean, clearly this child is supposed to be here in our family now. And I really do want this baby and I already love him. But it's like, four kids really feels like a lot. Five might just be the end of me. And probably Dan too.
I think it's fair to say that the last 8 months have been some of the most stressful of our marriage. Between the uncertainty of our job, to having a job that's super stressful and in a different state, to discovering we're pregnant, to moving, to saying goodbye to my parents, our friends, and babysitters, to having four kids in general, to seeing a child struggle, to having a pregnant mom/wife or actually being pregnant, to the job staying non-stop stressful, yeah, we're kind of toasted. And while I, of course, am prone to worry and angst, Dan generally is not. But seriously, after this much time, it's starting to wear on both of us. All we can really do is just keep going, and keep hoping that things will normalize soon, even though a brand new baby and the start of school is going to throw us a major curve ball. The storm is brewing and we can both feel it.
I tell Dan that he can't leave me, because I sometimes I think if it was me riding that train home from work everyday, I might be tempted to take it all the way out of town. Then again, I think ours is the last stop before it turns around to go back downtown, so maybe I shouldn't worry so much.
In all seriousness, though, I look at him each night, and think "I can keep doing this as long as we're doing it together." And I picture us years from now, holding hands and walking through some foreign town on a whine-free vacation. Heck, I even walk through the grocery store, seeing retired people picking out peaches and wish I was them.
Things will get better, I know they will. The trick is to try to enjoy the journey.
Friends keep asking me how we are managing to take all these trips. The answer is fairly simple. First of all, Both Dan and I love a trip and love to travel. Second of all, we are both suffering from what I like to call, Penta-Parent-Paranoia. That would be the fear of having five children. And the symptoms include taking the family on as many trips as we can before the baby gets here, in fear that once he arrives, our travel options, opportunities, and desires will be non-existent, at least for the foreseeable future. We're enjoying the journey while we can still take one.
But don't be shy, Baby! We want you to come out just as soon as you are ready! Don't let the name Donut scare you! I'm sure you'll get used to it!
So we went to Chicago in July. And great fun was had by all! After having had my parents live with us before their mission, my kids were used to having them as a staple in their everyday lives'. Getting them back together felt a little like coming home again, even though my parents rental home belonged to an old Jamaican couple furnished with Christmas light curtains and white kidney bean couches and smelled like moth balls.
The fantastic thing about my parents serving in Chicago is that is it close to both my brother, Ian, and my sister, Leah. So in order to organize our relatively short visit and be sure we got to see everyone, we planned out our days ahead of time.
Our first stop was the shore of Lake Michigan, even though it was cloudy and sprinkling.
Unfortunately for Dan, Salvation Army's selection of men's sweatshirts was slim and he ended up with a women's softball sweater. He was such a good sport. And possibly motivated by the cold.
I feel like I can't count the number of times we've taken our kids to some sort of body of water and told them to just get their feet wet.
You'd think we'd have learned by now just to tell them to go ahead and swim in their clothes, but we never do.
Even though that's what happens,
every.single.time.
You can't even get mad because it's kind of a cruel thing to ask a kid to do anyway. And riding home in their underwear and/or naked was just another adventure to add to their memory bank.
The next day, Ian took us out on a boat on the beautiful Lake Geneva in Wisconsin. Our group was too big to go all at once so while one group was on the boat, the other was walking on a trail around the lake, basically through the backyards of the amazing lake homes.
I found plenty of homes I'd be willing to live in.
Of course Ava was in heaven spending time with Sofia.
And back on the boat she was very unsure whether she would ride on the tube,
But she did it. I'm not sure she smiled, but she didn't fall off so that was a win in her book. And just the fact that she rode was a win in mine.
Dan went with the boys, but shockingly, in his copious amounts of spare time, he still hasn't downloaded his pictures to the computer. Luke rode with Santiago, and had fun, except when he went under the tube but wouldn't let go. He drank a lot of water and scared himself pretty good.
And Finn. Finn got a nap in his bed maybe two times on the trip. The rest of the time, he was toted around rain or shine, fussy or happy, and settled for naps where ever and whenever he could catch one. Like the one seen here on the way from the boat dock to the ice cream store where we went next.
I was sure I got a group shot on the stairs with all of us and our ice cream but it must be on Dan's phone.
Have I ever told you that Finn gives the best hugs?
He really does.
I think his hugs could repair the ozone and forge world peace.
And I couldn't resist this picture. These cousins were determined to climb the light pole even if it took a little team work.
On the fourth of July, we headed up to Wisconsin again, to Leah's house this time. That afternoon we had Luke's 7th birthday party.
Leah was willing to donate her cake making expertise for the Star Wars cake that Luke wanted. Max wants it too and has already informed me that Aunt Leah better come in October to make it for him because, "You can make a cake, Mom, but Aunt Leah is REALLY good at making cakes."
Finn is scared of my brother Ian, but not of his son, Oliver.
Luke's other requests for his birthday was to play musical chairs, the limbo, and have a pinata. Uncle Chris was so kind he made this one just for him.
On Dan's side of the family, it usually feels like a girl fest when we get together (though we are having quite a few little boys coming up the ranks!) But on my side, the girls are greatly outnumbered. They stuck together during party preparations.
Finn showed his broom obsession crosses state lines, when he kept stealing the limbo stick.
And this is the face of a boy who won musical chairs at his own birthday party! Ava graciously came in 2nd place and I could have kissed her for it.
Every limbo boy and girl, all around the limbo world. Gonna do the limbo rock, all around the limbo clock.
We only had one bonk on the head with the pinata stick so that was good.
I think Luke said this was his favorite birthday ever and I couldn't disagree. How fun is it to have so many people that not only like you, but love you, come to your party?!
We went to fireworks that night in Greendale. That was my second time doing that and I am convinced there isn't really a better place to go. You can get so close, and you never feel like you have to fight mobs of people and traffic. I didn't take any pictures but it was a great time.
The next day we went to a quaint little town, to the oldest? last? covered bridge in Wisconsin.
And I don't know if it was the fourth of July hormones, but man it was so American feeling watching the kids play in the river.
We really are blessed to live in such a beautiful country.
Sunday we went with my parent's to the branch they attend in downtown Chicago. They meet in an elementary school. Growing up, I have had church meetings in a few non-traditional spaces, I was glad my kids got to see this.
And our last day we spent in the city.
We attempted a family shot, and you can see how that worked out.
We met up with Ian's family in this little park. The trees made it a few degrees cooler.
I miss my mom so bad. Like really, really, really bad.
And I had to get the 3 generations together.
And then I just kept adding people in.
Unlike our other days, this one was pretty toasty.
But that was okay because when we got to Millennium Park and told the kids just to get their feet wet, they had all the more incentive to soak themselves.
Nobody was mad though, if anything, it kept them cool as we walked on.
And there, at the end of the afternoon, the end of our trip, Finn did what we all wanted to do after a fun-filled jam-packed long weekend, and succumbed to sleep.
5 comments:
Your pictures make me miss America! We took a quick trip to Chicago before we moved and I fell in love. Thanks for sharing.
Also, you should know that even though you are freaked out about having five kids I am totally inspired by your honesty and awesome mothering. Like, it makes me want to have 5 kids just to be like you. : )
You're my hero! All that traveling and craziness. Can't believe you'll be a family of 7 soon! I know the feeling of totally not wanting to be pregnant anymore, but also kinda' anxious about adding another one to the mix because infants are so much work. So cute and adorable, but very time consuming and you just hope you can fit it all in and survive!
You guys got this one sister! I'm tellin ya. You are so totally gonna rock this five thing. Even if you don't know it I do. So anytime you're not sure ask me.
I giggled for a good minute at Dan's sweatshirt. He's such a good sport and your writing it so grand. Miss you guys too much to tell. Reading your blog makes me happy and sad all at once. You got this five thing, so problem. (This is Jill in case it posts as Lee)
edit---"no problem" not "so problem"
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