It's Not Very Politically Correct But,

It's  been an enjoyable past time for quite a few years now, For Dan and me to assign our children Indian names.  Sometimes, we tell the kids their names and sometimes we just giggle about them in bed together before falling asleep.  And the names change all the time based on whatever phase is presenting itself.


Let me illustrate the evolution of Max's new name first with this Instagram...

You see, I was trying to channel my inner Dan and actually be fun.  I served the hot chocolate and then proceeded to pretend that the potion had worked and I could no longer see any of the kids.  I kept pretending and the kids kept laughing.  Then Max asked me,

"You're joking right, Mom?"

I looked his direction, though over his head, to prove I couldn't see him, and said very seriously,

"No. I'm not joking.  I can't see any of you."

And then he cried.  Hard.  Big fat tears.

"But I don't want to be invisible!  Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

I can't describe my emotional conflict at this moment.  I truly felt sorry for him as he was genuinely upset.  But at the same time, his reaction was hilarious to me and I could not contain my laughter.

It took him nearly 20 minutes to recover.




The very next night we sat around the dinner table and discussed how Ava's birthday was next on the calendar.

I should have learned my lesson, but I joked and said,

"I've decided there will be no more birthdays in the Colton family.  I am tired of you guys growing up, I want you to stay my babies forever.  So from here on out, there will not be one more birthday."


Immediately with genuine tears,

"Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!  I just really wanteeeeeed to beeeeee siiiiiiiiiixxxx! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!"




Not 30 minutes later when I was cleaning in the kitchen, Max came to process his trauma.

Max: Mom, I can be six right?

Me: Yes, Max. I was just joking.  You can have your birthday, I just want you to always be my baby.

Max: I will! I will always be your baby!  Even when I'n a dad, even when I'n a teenager, even when I'n dead.  I'll be your baby forever.  And I'n never gonna leave you. I'll be with you forever.  I'll be with you when I'n a teenager.  I'll be with you when I get married...."

He trailed off right then as the realization about what he was saying started to sink in.  I didn't have time to say anything before his eyes got wide, his face dropped, and the tears rolled,


"When I get married I won't live with you anymoooooooooooore! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"


I quickly assured him that when he got married he was welcome to still live with me.  I'm banking on the hope that when the time comes he won't think that sounds like a great idea.  But, regardless of where he lives, I am also banking on the hope that he means it when he says he'll always be my baby.


As for his Indian name, I've been vacillating between two.  At first, Cries A Lot seemed perfect, but now I'm thinking I like the sound of Tender Heart better.