Last week at our YW presidency meeting, the agenda read:
Spiritual Thought-Elise
I had written the agenda days before so it wasn't as if this was a surprise or anything. But minutes before the meeting, I remembered that I had not prepared one and I racked my brain for something to share.
I came up completely blank. I had nothing. I was tired. Dan had been gone for 4 days. Of course Finn had been plagued by nightmares since he left and the night before, even though she hasn't missed the toilet in a few years, Ava threw up all over the tower of books beside her bed. Have you ever cleaned chunks of vomit from the metal coils of your child's precious spiral bound sketchbook in the middle of the night? I can't recommend it.
There I stood in the kitchen before the meeting, devoid of nearly all thought and especially those of a spiritual nature, ready for the first knock of arrivals, and decided that tonight was my lucky night since I was running the meeting, we would just skip Spiritual Thought-Elise.
And we did.
But in the morning, my heart wasn't happy. It's not that I felt those who attended the meeting had missed out on my "valuable insight". Valuable or not, I had missed out on it. I had missed out on the opportunity to be taught by the spirit.
I like Spritual Thought Elise way better than No Spiritual Thought Elise.
Without even much effort (and probably more like a little present from God) my mind landed on a little picture I had recently seen. And I composed the following text to my dear comrades:
I woke up feeling guilty about not having a spiritual thought last night. Yesterday was not my finest day in many ways 😑 I came across this meme a week or so ago and I have thought about it off and on ever since.
It reminds me of a quote that I heard in an institute class when I was in college-"most people only accept enough of the gospel to make themselves miserable." I have no idea who said it but it has stuck with me all these years. It has helped me maintain a perspective about the commandments, the meetings, the service, and my overall commitment to Jesus Christ. The majority of the time, I am happy for all of those things. I love the gospel and I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. My service to them does not feel like a burden it feels like a privilege and opportunity to express my love back to them. And to meet and love people along the way. But that is not to say that occasionally I don't have feelings of irritation or of being overwhelmed by aspects of the gospel. However, it has been helpful to me to be able to remember that quote and the idea behind that meme, and realize, if I'm feeling miserable about any of it, I'm not doing it right. Not only that, when I recommit myself, not only do I change my attitude, I open myself to more direct access to the atonement and am more fully open to receive the power I have been endowed with by God in the temple to help me accomplish my desires and feel peace along the way. So there you go. A day late spiritual thought :)
And then I hit send.
They were appreciative and kind.
And best of all, I learned some things.
A late thought is better than no thought.
The times we feel far from the spirit are the times to dig in deeper, even, no especially, if we don't feel like it.
"If ye will draw near unto me, I will draw near unto you"
And with infinite patience, even if we are tired, or lazy, hurt, or obstinate, He waits for us, always.
2 comments:
Thanks, Elise. It reminds me of an excellent lesson we had at church not long ago, and the teacher said one of the things we should be doing, at least once a year, was bearing our testimony. And how important it is to do that probably once publicly, and then continually with our family. It was powerful to me, because I hadn't done it in a long time. I appreciate your little sermons!
Just the what I needed to hear! Thank you!
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