Ten Months and A Week

Max is 10 months old today! Ridiculous! Everybody says it, but I really cannot believe how fast the time has gone.

He is a fast little mover now. He loves to eat and eat and eat. And his 24 pounds of soft, chubby body mass are evidence of that.

The other kids, especially Luke are still not quite happy about his mobility. And Luke is one of Max's favorite things. It drives Luke batty.




And highly anticipated I'm sure, the results are in. After a full week of school and one really bad day in the middle, kindergarten is:

Not too bad and not too good.

She wakes in the morning anxious and nervous for the day. She worries about getting to the right place and finding her class. Somebody has apparently helped the past few days, but not before she is lost and worried.

But when she gets off the bus in the afternoon, she reports that her day was, "Great!"

She is hot and exhausted and hyper. She sometimes borders on wild for the rest of the evening.

All relatively typical for many kids in the same scenario.

But, even though she worries and worries and worries some more, even though she is scared, she's doing it. She is doing all that we're asking of her and she's doing it pretty darn well. And that more than any other thing makes me so proud.

New Routines

I was waiting to post the results of how school has gone until nearer the end of the week, to provide more of an average of her reaction rather than any one day's report. But I can't. I need a release.

Today the kindergarten crap hit the fan. Just as I had been warned it might, by my ever-knowing Val. (Day 2 or 3 the honeymoon ends (she was never even in love.) )

Ava is dog tired. Dawg tired. And now, having been through a couple of days, knowing full well what to expect, she couldn't keep it together this morning.

I run a dangerous road with her. I can never feel quite sure when the floor is going to collapse. It is a very delicate balance. When she is stressed that balance becomes even more delicate. Especially right now, having to get her up earlier than she'd like, knowing she needs every spare second of sleep she can get, yet also knowing that she does not like to be rushed to get ready.

I try to leave a little a little wiggle room in our timing, but today it didn't matter.

The morning reached it's peak with hysterical sobs in the driveway. Saying again and again, "I just want to stay with you! I just want to stay with you!"

At least she got herself together with a few minutes of snuggling before I dropped her off.

This week has been very weird. I am still trying to get used to things. Lots of emotions for emotional people.The routines that formerly ran our household are pretty much null and void. We need to make some new ones ASAP. It's a big change for all of us and I know it will take some time to adjust.

Because I am feeling a little like our life turned upside down this week I am making a list to help restore some mental order.

Just a list of some of the things I'd like to remember or that I would rather read in words than keep thinking about in my mind.

1. Ava was in preschool for the past two years, but she's always been home for lunch. Always. So it is now so strange for Luke to be sitting at the table by himself. Usually Ava called the lunch shots and had a specific request. Now I am racking my brain to think of what Luke would like.

2. Luke is in heaven with all of our one-on-one time together. And frankly, he deserves it. So when Max goes down for his nap, it has been fun to just play.

3. It is also very strange to not have the need to leave the house. When Ava is home, or maybe it's just the combination of the kids, we have to get out of the house at some point each day. Things implode if we don't. Over the past few days I have noticed that feeling is not there.

4. 7 and a half hours seems like a long time, but it is going by very quickly.

5. It is crazy how with time, things that once felt impossible become totally doable. By the end of the summer I was taking all three kids to the grocery store or the library by myself. Tasks that formerly felt completely out of the question just months prior were now feasible options. That felt good and it really speaks to our ability to adjust. So now, having just the two boys seems like I can do anything! Anything! The possibilities are endless! Yet isn't it interesting that I haven't done much of anything this week?

6. But I can only agree with what Ava keeps telling me, "I just want to be used to it. I'm ready to be used to it."

Kindergarten

11 kindergarten classes at 20 kids each = 220 kids which = 100 more kids than my graduating class.


I took my baby to kindergarten today. I got all the tears out of the way last night after she was tucked into bed.

Yesterday, Dan gave her a blessing and I gave her a necklace. Actually, there are two necklaces, one for her and one for me and they match. I told her that it could remind her how much we love her and I would wear mine and remember how much she loved me.




It was cute to hear her repeat to Dan this morning, "And Mommy gave me this necklace so that Mommy loves me and I will know it."


I thought it was a great idea until I realized that I was locking myself into wearing a children's size necklace for a while. It's kind of a choker, but I don't think those are really in style anymore.

The school was a madhouse. We sat in traffic just to find a spot on the street to park. As we waited, the anxiety was building inside me. Soon I heard Ava in the back seat. She was doing some deep breathing exercises. She was either feeling anxious too or about to give birth. I asked if she was okay.

"Yes."

I asked if she was excited or nervous.

"Both"

And she resumed her breathing.

After our long walk, once inside she was still nervous but doing fine. Her seat is at a table with three boys and one other girl. She was hesitant at first, but she usually prefers boy friends to girl friends, so maybe it will be a good thing.




I helped her get started coloring, gave her a hug and kiss and said goodbye. I was surprisingly devoid of emotion.

I have missed her and thought about her so much already. This has been a very weird day. She'll be riding the bus home and I can't wait to see how the day played out.

Dan reminded me not to worry about her not knowing everything because she will be in school 40 hours a week now. She'll have pleeeenty of time to learn.

And from here on out Saturdays will will take on a whole new meaning!

And Here We Go

Last week Max started to figure out that he could do more than just sit on his cute, chubby bottom. He had become a pro at sitting up from a laying down position, but couldn't quite get a handle on being mobile.

He had started to protest every time I set him down. He was feeling abandoned and stuck. For a while he was stuck in reverse. The more and more he tried to get at what he wanted, the further away he got. But over the weekend the synapses connected and he put one hand in front of the other and he was off!


Now he can get down and GO! He is enjoying exploring the house. And I am not enjoying the accompanying worry that he is going to find Cinderella's lost high heel or Luke's money.

Ava and Luke are not so pleased that there is a new cat in town. Mostly because this cat likes to swipe toys and mess up elaborately constructed masterpieces.

It's like Godzilla is coming! Max starts in their direction and then mayhem and screaming ensue as they grab things up and try to block him out.




He of course, means no malice and still thinks that Ava and Luke are the best and funniest things on earth.

Sadly, a trip to the pediatrician today confirmed my suspicions, he has another ear infection. Next stop, ENT.

Luke's 3 year pictures

While I have already lamented the deadness of my camera's battery, I am just grateful that my mom had hers. I got the pictures from her during her last visit and was pleased to realize that while perhaps, not what they could have been, a lot of them turned out cute.

Cute enough to illustrate what Luke is like at three.

Which is pretty cool. I mean Luke is cool.

And the fact that the pictures turned out is cool, too.




Cool.



Some of my very favorite things about Luke right now are:

The way he asks what I'm doing, "What you doin' bout, Mommy?"

The way he dances in the car.




The way he loves to be tickled. The soft way, not the giggly way. And how in order to provide the most surface area for tickling, he holds his arm out in the air.




The way that he plays and entertains himself.


The way that he rolls with the punches, sometimes.




The way he sings.


Hearing his requests to play "Tackle Me!",his made up game which would be more aptly named "Tackle You!"


And especially the way he randomly gets down from the table in the middle of dinner just to give me a kiss.

Why do kids have to grow up?

I set up Luke's new bed two days ago. At first he was a little confused about who was actually going to sleep in it. I finished putting it together just in time for his nap and I asked him if he wanted to sleep in it.

"Yes!"

But when it came right down to it, he pointed to the bed saying, "Dis Ava's bed" and "Where's Ava?" I think he was really hoping that he and Ava would share a room. I clarified that it was his bed and then he started pointing to his crib and asking "Dis Ava's bed?"

I told him soon that could be Max's bed. "Where's Max?", he wondered.

Max was asleep in his actual bed and probably won't be making the move over to Luke's room for a few more weeks. But after our game of 20 questions was finished, he settled into his new little bed for a good nap.

That night, about 30 minutes before his usual bedtime he started asking to go to sleep. He was really excited about his new bed. We compromised and put him down about 15 minutes early at about 7:15 pm.

What a smooth transition this bed switching ordeal was turning out to be! And at about 8:30 pm we heard him calling,

"Want to wake up now! Want to wake up now!" Dan held him for a few minutes and Luke explained, "I'm scary!" (I'm scared) But he went back down without a fuss and has been sleeping happily in it for the past 2 days.

He has also peed in the potty on his own accord one more time.

Lot's of growing up happening right now. But with the 23rd quickly approaching one thing remains on my mind.

Kindergarten.

I think I am more nervous than she is. Only because she has no idea what to expect. I have been gearing up for this terrible, awful, ugly monster. I have been getting ready for her to hate it and cry to never have to go. Then it hit me yesterday. Maybe it won't be awful. Maybe she won't hate it. Maybe it might even be good.

I'm not sure if I am a dramatic pessimist or if I'm more of a prepare for the worst, hope for the best kind of girl.

All I know is that I better leave room for the notion that this could be good. Or an actual good experience will be hard pressed to happen because my bad attitude would not be in the position to enjoy it.

But please, all of you who have sent off your baby to kindergarten and lived to tell about it, do me a favor, will ya? Will you just pat my cheek and tell me that everything is gonna be okay?

Where one paragraph doesn't necessarily relate to the previous one

Max got his two little bottom teeth while we were in Utah.

He continues to laugh and laugh.

There are days when I feel like the soundtrack of my life would consist of 24 tracks of whining and crying. And then there are other days where every other track would be baby laughing. Those are my favorites.

Luke peed in the potty this afternoon. That is so HUGE for him. I basically held the potty under him when he started to pee in the tub. He didn't protest. That's all I can ask for at this point.

I'm not holding my breath that he'll be doing it again anytime soon. I'm just glad to have one success under his bum.

We were home from Utah for 2 days before Max and I ran up to Dallas for a quick weekend to see my sister Leah and her kids. Turns out they are staying longer than expected, so this weekend they made the trip down to Houston.

It was great! I love my family!

I feel like we have been really busy these past few weeks and I am a little worried that as they slow down I will remember how lonely I am.

For the first time, Luke sat through his haircut without a whine or a whimper. Only an occasional "Don't cut me!" or "You cut me!" I thought we would never see this day!

Last night we booked our cruise. The same one. We don't care that we've seen it or done it before. We loved it! And we will love it again!

Last night as I was putting Ava to bed, she was asking me questions about when we die. I was trying to reassure her that we won't die for a long time. Thinking this would be a comfort, I told her, "We will be really, really old when we die."

She was not comforted. She was bugged.

"Really old?! That doesn't sound good! Really old is when you get rashes and you don't feel good! I don't want to be really old!"