Gold

Stand on up and take a bow,

there's something there and it's showing.

There's no need to look around,

you're the best we've got going.

Shout out to the dreams you'll chase.

Shout out to hearts you'll break.

Nothings gonna stop you now.

I guess you better be going.

It won't take long to get when you feel like you're soaring.

So write it all and don't forget, you gotta tell us your story.

 Ava's favorite song right now is Gold by Owl City.

  It wasn't until this morning, as I heard her belting it from her room upstairs as she cleaned, that I actually listened to the words and realized how apropos it is for her.

A few months ago she got invited to a dance class on Bring a Friend Day.  I knew it would happen, she came home begging to sign up.  I can't explain exactly why we were so hesitant to say yes, but we were.

Maybe because the class was for girls who had been dancing for two years.  Maybe because, in general, Ava is not a person to whom things come easily, especially physical things.  Maybe because we've been racking our brain for ways to help boost her confidence and we feared this class would be another hit to her tender ego.

But she really, really wanted to do it.  The teacher even agreed since the class was quite small that perhaps she might be able to spend a little extra time helping Ava catch up and warned Ava that she would have to work really hard to make up for lost time.  They were just beginning the routine for the recital.  Couldn't she please, please, please take this class?

So we agreed. That same week, two other girls transferred over from a different day, making the class big instead of small, and Ava jumped into the whirlwind of dance class.

At dinner, we often do Roses and Thorns, where each person takes a turn and shares their best and worst moments of the day.  There were quite a few Wednesday nights where both her Rose and Thorn was dance class.

It was not easy for her.  She worked very hard.  She got better.  She found satisfaction in her great improvement and she felt badly because comparatively she was not where the other girls were. Instead of reading some nights, she would tap away in the foyer on the wood floor, practicing.  As the recital drew near, I even pulled out my old tap shoes and we spent a few evenings after the boys were in bed, working on our maxi ford turns and buffaloes.

Last Saturday was her recital. And she danced her heart out. She did so great! I left realizing, I could not have been more proud even if she had done every step in perfect time, in perfect form.

 More and more, I am realizing that she does more for me as a human being than I could ever do for her.  Her lesson was my lesson. I needed to learn that the steps are not as important as the process of taking them. That perfection is not the prize, the effort is. That it really doesn't matter where anyone else is along the path. That way less important than any skill or talent, the heart of a person trumps all. And finally, that in my little Ava, I really don't need to doubt.

She started the second grade reading and she finished the second grade reading.  Now we are setting our sights on math and I have no doubts we will conquer that too.  My hope is that she'll learn to stick up for herself, too, and not let people take advantage of her.  She's is beginning to see herself in a new way and it is one of the most fantastic things I've witnessed.  She truly is starting to shine.  The only left for me to do is, stand on my bed and belt into my hairbrush microphone.

You'll never be far, I'm keeping you near.

Inside of my heart, you're here.

Go on, it's gotta be time.

You're starting to shine.

Cause what you got is,

Gold, I know, you're gold.

I don't need the stars in the night, you're my treasure.

All I need is you by my side, so shine forever.

I know, you're gold.

Power Weekend

Wow, Nelly, it's hard to blog right now.  It's also hard to unload the dishwasher, make dinner, fold the laundry, etc, etc, etc.  If you ask Finn, it's hard to feel the cold, hard couch or floor or to sleep for longer than 30 minutes at a time during the day. What's not hard, is to see that those two thoughts have a direct correlation.

But I wouldn't change it.  Except for the sleeping, I'd change that.

My quick trip to Louisiana, where I enjoyed lounging in pajamas with my friend and our babies,

led right in to my in law's visit for Ava's baptism and Finn's baby blessing.  As well as Ava and Dan's respective birthdays.

For the weeks leading up, I had been feeling so overwhelmed with love, both from and for, my Heavenly Father.  I know that He is the author of the love that feel.  He gives us these precious families and our love for each other is a manifestation of His love. We give it to each other as an errand for Him. And I feel like I know God because of these feelings. "If we love one another, God dwelleth in us."  When my heart is full to bursting, far beyond what I imagined my capacity to be, I know that is from God.  God is love.

Ava deserves her own post and when I take her 8 year old pictures, she'll get it.

But we went to Luke's end of Pre-K program. He had a great year and I think he'll do great in Kindergarten next year.  He's been saying lately, "I want to be like Jesus" and I don't want to forget that.

We went to the Dallas Aquarium, a personal favorite.

This manatee came right up in for a close up, which thrilled Max and caused him to exclaim, "That made my heart happy!"

Don and Linda gifted the kids with some new things:

Darf lunchbox for Max.

And a world map puzzle for Luke.

They gave Ava a book series for her birthday, pictured a little ways down this post.


We had Ava's baptism.

She was so beautiful and sweet and the Spirit was so strong.

 I am so happy about that girl.  And the fact that she's mine. Mine, mine, mine!

Having my parents, and Dan's parents, and Mimi all be a part of these special days was just awesome.

We tried for some family pictures, we really did. And although Max wasn't feeling it, I'm kind of in love with this one anyway.

And then we had dinner at Ava's favorite restaurant, Babe's, for her birthday,

where she wore the hat and did the chicken dance as they sang to her.

 Then on to cake and presents at home. She thought long and hard about her wish,

and got a Breyer horse, the Rise of the Guardians book series that she could not put down,

a new skirt, a stuffed puppy dog, and the long awaited Golden-Paged Scriptures.

Sunday was Finn's blessing and it was wonderful.

 The fact he had a huge diaper filling session minutes before donning his white outfit, as well as my serendipitous catch with a burpcloth of a spit up fountain just seconds prior to the blessing, were minor miracles.

The blessing was beautiful.  And my dad said that he peeked in the middle and Finn was just staring up at them with a huge smile on his face.

That night was Dan's birthday celebration, and he is easy to celebrate! I could not be happier with him and the man he is! That ooey-gooey burst-my-heart love I mentioned earlier?  He does that to me.

Monday I let out a huge metaphorical sigh of relief.  We didn't do too much.

 We took Grandma Linda and Grandpa Don to the kids favorite scooter path, we all fell asleep on various couches, and then we drove out to the lake and ate fast food for dinner.

The weekend was so full.  But in the best ways imaginable.  I know God loves me because he gave me these people and He fills my heart with love for them everyday.

Speaking Of

Thank you, dear friends, for your response and reassurance to my insecurities! It made my day to hear from you!  I didn't mean to scare anyone, however.  I am not planning to quit blogging anytime soon.
If nothing else does, my recent view of the boys giggling over the blog book is great motivation to continue. I can't find the picture right now so I'll add it when I find it.

I only thought I might have to venture to FB to ask for new name suggestions.  And speaking of a new name, I haven't had time to think about it much but maybe I will try to ponder on it while I am flying to Louisiana today.

My Mother's Day present from Dan was a trip to see my Val. I am super excited!  I am taking Finn of course and her little boy Nolan is just 3 weeks older than Finn so we are sure to have some very, very cute time together.

And speaking of Finn, he slept from 9:30 to 7:30 on Tuesday night and last night from 10:30-8.  I am loving it! He is staying awake so much in the day, only cat napping here and there and being quite noisy about his preference not to be set down, that the daytime is somewhat of a struggle.  But I tell myself, if he sleeps that good for me at night, I don't care what he does during the day. Even when I am walking around with him in my arms, slightly frustrated at working one handed, I glance down to see him smiling up at me every time.  And then that makes me smile.

And speaking of smiling, these are some parting shots that I can't look at without one crossing my face.

Video Killed the Radio Star and Facebook Killed the Blog

First of all, for the Colton record books: presumably days before his legs were going to be sticking between the slats, Max announced that he would no longer be sleeping in his crib, it was time for the big boy bed.  We'll never know what prompted that choice, heaven knows it wasn't me.  I had been encouraging that move for quite a while.  And not long after I had completely given up hope for a switch before his 4 birthday (his previously declared deadline), he made his move.

We got Spiderman sheets in celebration, at his request.  And all is well in the boys room these days.

Second of all, it has been brought to my attention that this blog needs a new name.  I really had no foresight when I originally created it.  And I guess I didn't learn my lesson when I renamed it the second time.   So it's time for name number 3. Max isn't little anymore and Finn has joined the ranks. I'd love to just ponder a minute and come up with something clever myself, but if I haven't made it clear enough, I'm wading through some serious brain fog these days.  I won't tell you how I forgot to put the van in park and had to chase it down the driveway or completely forgot about Luke's doctor appointment. So that's where you come in. Hopefully.

This used to be a place where I could ask for advice or input or even just tell a story and you guys talked back.  Nowadays, I could probably announce that I grew a full size Siamese twin and all that would happen is a chorus of crickets chirping and maybe a tumbleweed would blow by.

But don't worry I'm not bitter.

Dan tries to reassure me and say it's because people don't blog anymore. That we should blame Facebook.  I can see that.  If nobody's out there reading, that's fine.  That would feel better than the alternative, because if you are still out there, it kind of feels like you all are laughing at me from the shadows.

Maybe I should start posting tutorials on making home decor out of old toilet paper rolls that you can pin on Pinterest.  Or putting ads on my sidebar and hosting contests and giveaways.  Which could be cool except I don't know how to make decor out of toilet rolls and I have nothing to give away.

Maybe I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.  Yeah, that sounds good.

Hopefully, you can tell this was written with my tongue in my cheek. Seriously though, I don't write for comments (the real reason I blog was explained back here), but to those of you who talk back now and again: Thank you, you make blogging a little more fun :)

So I'm opening up my vulnerabilities and asking:

Do you have any ideas for a new name for this blog?

If nobody's out there, then I am asking in vain.  But if you are out there, dust off your blogger account, sign back in, and help a girl out.

Otherwise, I might have to resort to Facebook and that just doesn't seem right.