It actually began yesterday, when I was at a baby shower for my neighbor's daughter-in-law. This neighbor, Blanca, is a nice middle-aged woman who I had only met when she knocked on my door last week to invite me to this shower for her daughter-in-law that I've never met. I was hesitant to go because I didn't know anyone let alone her daughter-in-law but I figured it would be a nice gesture and I might get to know my neighbors.
The afternoon was a little awkward but I did meet another neighbor and chatted with the ladies there. But then it happened-we were sitting around in a circle and the topic of where our families lived came up. A woman mentioned that she had siblings in Utah. And then Blanca said "Are they MORMON?! HA! HA!". Awkward. I knew my face got red and hot and I was really worried where this conversation was headed. Nobody knew I was LDS and I didn't want anyone to say anything they would be embarrassed about when I finally spoke up. I just wanted to get the heck out of there. But thank goodness the other woman just said, "no" and then continued on. Blanca was not in the room when I did say that I was Mormon. But the ladies who did hear, didn't say anything.
I'm not a stranger being a lone LDS person. But it can be uncomfortable and I just hadn't felt that sensation in a while. Where we live, people are very religious and many are not "fans" of the LDS church. And I think that with Mitt Romney out there, the church is under a microscope.
Anyway, skipping to today when I was reading in the James Faust supplement to the Ensign- It talked about his application process to the officer's candidate school. He was asked about his beliefs and morals and he answered without equivocation. And then was asked whether he believed those morals should be relaxed during times of war. He said he saw this as an opportunity to look broad minded but owing to his own integrity, ended up saying "I do not believe there is a double standard of morality". And he was surprised when he was accepted into officers' school.
Then he went on to say, "In all my long years of life I have tried not to hide who I am and what I believe. I cannot recall a single instance when it hurt my career or I lost valued friends by humbly acknowledging that I was a member of this church. "
I am in no way comparing myself to President Faust. But his words inspired me. And looking back to the incident at the shower, I should have said more. Somehow, I am always taken aback by situations like this and I get all nervous and tongue tied. But this was a great reminder.
Wow, I didn't mean for this to be a novel.
And finally, Happy 4 month birthday, Mr. Luke!
For his birthday, he got to wear these completely useless but really cute shoes! It made him look so old!
4 comments:
When I was growing up there was a Catholic family on our street. I don't think anyone knew them very well. They had a lot of kids and were known as "the Catholic family". I do remember that periodically there would be a coupon in the paper for White Castle hamburgers. (They were about the size of a silver dollar and usually sold for 12 cents.) And the children in this family would go door to door asking neighbors for the coupon. You will probably become "the Mormon family" in your neighborhood.
I've never been in a situation like you were in. I do remember a couple times when I became defensive because of some unkind remarks abour the church. But it was only later that I thought of the things that I wish I'd said. Those are the conversations that you replay over and over in your head. There was a great talk in the last conference, I think by Elder Ballard, about how to respond to people who know little about the church. We should probably all have something prepared to say should the opportunity arise. Like you say the church is under the microscope now and the time will undoubtably arise for each of us to explain what the church beliefs are and to defend those beliefs.
I hope Luke is doing better and you get some good answers at the doctor. I know that you don't want to think that Sophie could be causing his problems. But is there any way she could take a little vacation for awhile to see if it makes any difference with Luke's problems and Ava's allergies? Give both the kids a hug and kiss for me.
Elise, that was so nice of you to go to that shower when you didn't know the people! I would have been uncomfortale too.
Why are the people not "fans" of the church? Ignorance? Bad experiences in the past? Have they ever known any "mormons", or are they just jabbing at an "in the news" topic. If the woman had family that lived in Pennsylvania, would Blanca have said, "Are they Amish? Ha Ha!"
I don't know what I would have said either. If I had been prepared, maybe I could have said something like "Oh I hope you haven't had a bad experience with someone from our church...we're members and I think we're pretty nice people. We're not weird, i promise. I can certainly answer any questions you might have." I don't know, keeping it light, but also not being embarassed.
I've never been in your situation - I'm surrounded by 'em! Keep the faith!
Sunday's are hard for us too. We hardly ever make it to church on time, and hardly ever with the spirit following us through the door.
I'm scared of situations like this. I'm currently studying "Preach My Gospel" and have had told the missionaries I will pray for oportunities like yours.
I also love that Ava prays for Livy. We have a hard time getting Liv to remember Lucy!
Can't wait to see you!!!
I have been in "that Mormon family" all my life! But for the most part we were well respected in each place we lived and I felt respected at school, at least to my face. And i think most people around here don't even really know any Mormon people. But because they are very religious and their pastors talk about the church, they have a lot of preconceived notions.
It seems like i can even have something prepared in my head but i can never say it quite right and i always leave thinking, "I should have said..." And It's not that I'm ashamed because I am not all. I guess I am more protective. It's like in elementary school when people would say "Your mama". That was just too personal and too mean. Don't make fun of my mom or my church and we'll get along just fine!
Can't wait to see you all too!
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